In my last post I was all pumped up and high on life, well I still am. Every day I’m excited for what awaits and I’m excited for where I’m going with my life.
As I said, I’m allowing my fear to define me I’m taking it and using it as fire under my ass to accomplish what I desire most. I’m starting to take more chances and create new opportunities for myself and my life. I’m learning every day to take a step further, and then a few steps, a hop, a jump, and finally a leap of faith. I know everything will be ok in the end even if it doesn’t always feel ok at the moment. Things in life have a tendency of seeming much worse than they actually are. I know I tend to exacerbate situations into the worst possible scenarios when in reality… it’s not that bad.
At the end of the day, the most important thing is that you love yourself.
I’m GOING AFTER MY DREAMS.
I love sport, competition, and the natural high from it. For the majority of my life I’ve been involved in some type of sport. It just feels right to me. Competitive jump rope, soccer, track, Spartan racing, gymnastics, you name it. Ok well basketball was never really my thing. I could blame being 5 foot tall, but that’d just be lying and I don’t do that. Besides I’m positive there are plenty of 5 foot tall basketball players out there that totally annihilate the game… instead I’m going with it wasn’t a priority for me.
After the Death Race I took a decent break. Honestly, I feel off the face of the Earth in terms of the gym and Spartan Race. I had double stress fractured my left tibia and then relapsed into my eating disorder. Call it what you will but I over-trained and was stressed. I wasn’t able to better handle myself. I was lost.
Lost with what I wanted to do with my life.
During the healing process I began to develop and itch for competition. It’s still with me. The drive behind putting everything on the table and giving it all you’ve got, this is what keeps me going. Sport keeps me sane, focused, and full of life. After the Spartan VT Beast I didn’t finish another event… not the Peak Ultra, Ruck to Remember, or the Death Race. Something was missing. Was it laziness? no. Lack of experience? no. Lack of health? yes. Lack of taking care of my body? yes. Actually it’s almost event the very opposite of that. I was taking care of my body. I chose to not finish those events because doing so would be putting my health in critical danger – to be honest I shouldn’t have even signed up for any of them, but I’m stubborn. For the first time in my life I began to truly see I needed to take care of my body.
I miss unleashing my inner super-hero. Sound ridiculous? Insane? Sorry I’m not sorry.
I miss putting everything on the table and seeing what I’m made of.
I’m getting back in the swing of things. Back to where I feel that I’m supposed to be in my life, and doing what I’m meant to be doing. I’m back to the grind, focused as ever and working towards what I desire most. I’m ready to see what I’m made of. I’m declaring my inner super-hero be unleashed and able to rage.
I’m a full time student, I have two jobs, just getting into the world of Crossfit (and loving every.single.second), and full heartedly working on myself and my recovery. I’m stoked about what is to come and where I’m going with my life. Take it or leave it but I believe when we take care of our bodies they begin to do things we never thought possible.
Enjoy your day and make the best of it.