Catching up

Hey there! Clearly I fell off the blogging bandwagon, and fell off hard. It’s been about a month since I last posted and while I’ve been meaning to get back life just keeps on happening. As much as I’d love to post daily, or even bi-daily I just can’t make that commitment and also keep my sanity right now. Some people can and that’s great, if you’re one of those people major props to you. For right now I’m setting a goal of two posts a week, sometimes three. Hopefully three 🙂

What have I been up to as of late? Let’s see… crossfit, consuming absurd amounts of coffee (although I have cut it back a lot), working, yoga, catching up with friends over the aforementioned beverage of choice, and the full time job that is recovery.

Crossfit has been awesome. I never thought I would find myself really only doing crossfit as my workout regimen. As much as I love obstacle course racing, CF is doing it for me right now. Although I told my coach yesterday I do want to get back to competing in races once my body is physically ready for that training load. Speaking of races, I’ve been reminiscing back to the 2012 Death Race and all the training I put into that.

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2012 DR “bib”. When racers were told to sew our race #’s onto our shirts. Duct tape and pink thread, how I do.

With crossfit my lifts have been increasing for the most part. Lots of bulgarian split squats, deadlifts, 1-arm rows, pull ups, squats. I’ve also been working on bench and farmers carries with my own gym time. While I’m still a ways from where I was and far from where I’d like to be that isn’t deterring me. I’m keeping focused and keeping both eyes on the ultimate goal.

Things have been much easier without school work to worry about for the summer. Classes start back up September 3rd and while I’m super excited to get back learning I’m also embracing having more free time to really focus on myself and what I want to be doing with my life. I mean sure education is important to me and I intend to go far with mine but I have other aspects to my life that have the same importance (if not more). It’s no secret my passion is fitness and competition. With being “off the playing field” for about a year now I am becoming more and more antsy to get back and kick some ass. Mainly just get back, ass kicking comes later.

The lack of school has also allowed for me to get in more friend time. Last weekend I met with a lovely lady for coffee, breakfast, and other shenanigans 🙂

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Downtown. My liquids of choice: coffee and water. Water in my bottle from Taylor. Thanks girl.

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Along with coffee I’ve been fueling with handfuls of this stuff. Tasty.

If you’ve never tried the Enjoy Life trail mix I highly suggest it. It’s fairly allergy friendly for those of us who need it but whether or no you have an allergy it’s good. Really good. I blame the fact it contains chocolate chips. Chocolate makes everything better. Everything.

Well, I think that is enough random mumbo jumble for today. I hope you’re all doing great and enjoying summer! 🙂

What have you been doing workout wise lately?

Ever tried the Seed & fruit trail mix? Or any Enjoy Life product?

Who else is on school break and embracing every.single.moment?

What goes on in a week of Sarah

Hey there!

Today I’m deciding to swap things up a bit and step down from my motivational stand. Although I love being all YAAAA, YOU CAN DO IT… I’m keeping it all serious today.

I find that one topic I always find interesting when reading other blogs is learning about the person behind the writing. I mean bloggers typically have an “about me” section, which I do, but even beyond that. For instance, what the person does to occupy their time besides their job, school, ect. What goes on ‘behind the scenes’. That sounds dirty. Whooooops. Get ya mind out of the gutter.

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My week typically looks something like this-

Monday – babysit until around 8am, strength session, class 12:30-5 (note: I live an hour away from school so I’m gone 11-6ish) , homework/down time

Tuesday – babysit, strength session/crossfit, weekly chiropractor visit, work 4-8 (roughly a half hour drive each way… good ol’ NH livin in no where’s ville)

Wednesday – therapist (oh did I mention this is also about a good half hour drive… are you picking up a pattern? ;)), class 12:30-5, seminar 6-7

Thursday – babysit, crossfit, doctor[S] (lately these have been down in Boston so about an hour away…. good ol’ specialists…), work 4-8

Friday – babysit, work 10-4, strength session

Saturday – open gym @ crossfit or solo strength session, homework/errands!

Sunday – work 8-6

Every.single.night I do about 20-30 minutes of yoga and SMR release plus I’ll hit any super tight areas such as hip flexors, brachial plexus (shoulder nerve root), ankles, ect! Also lately I’ve been having to take 1-2 naps per day (sometimes 3!) just being so darn fatigued from all the medical stuff going on. I would update y’all but honestly were still figuring it out…

My pcp says it’s rheumatology, my gasto says rheumatology, but then the rheumatologist says liver… fail. Their trying and that’s really all I can ask for. I’m just so thankful I was able to make the beginning of this semester a light load so I’m able to rest a bit and try to get my body working semi-optimally again. Come March 19th I’ll be adding in two more classes but for now the above is my typical week!

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24 hours of work. Two classes. 4 days of babysitting. 4-5 gym sessions (although I want it to be like 4-5 hundred…). Some doctors, again super thankful for health insurance, I literally cannot say this enough. Lots of yoga/muscle releasing. LOTS of driving.

That’s my life. Welcome to a “week in the life” of Sarah. It’s boring, but it does the trick 😉

Updates on updates on updates

Hi there strangers! Long time no see… and no my post on Christmas doesn’t really count. All I did then was give y’all another name to call me. Lame sauce. Wow did I really just combine the words lame+sauce to make a
sentence”?

Warning: this is kinda long. Warning: it ain’t that pretty. Warning: food porn. Warning: I give too many warnings.

Over this past month or so of my hiatus from blogging I have realized a few different things, and come to terms with a few more. What I’ve realized: I love this community; I really love my training (*in a way that isn’t eating disordered); mistakes happen, life is life, and I can’t change that. What I’ve come to terms with: this isn’t going to be easy. Gaining my health back isn’t going to be easy, but it is necessary. Could it be worse? yes. But, is it still bad? you betcha.

I knew that once school ended for the semester I needed to get back to blogging. I need it for my sanity. I need it for the amazing relationships I have made with other bloggers. I need it… because I simply love it. I may not post often, consistently, or on any sort of semi-schedule but I’m a’ok with that. Right now, it works for me.

This semester went well, better than I thought actually considering all I’m about to lay on the table in a moment. I didn’t get all A’s, but I can’t change that, I tried my hardest. Exercise science intro, math, and psychology were all A’s, with a B in Anatomy & Physiology. Am I going to shoot for all A’s in the Spring semester? you betcha. Am I ok with the fall? 100% I’ll take it.

I miss training. I haven’t talked much about this topic as I’ve shoved it to the backburner quite a bit but I’m ready to bring it up. Let’s discuss. I haven’t stepped foot in the gym since August when I relapsed into my eating disorder. I stopped training due to a combination of injuries that weren’t healing and relapsing. I will not allow myself to workout while I’m deeply into my disorder. This is because I am not ok with my Ed and my passion for training becoming intertwined in such a way that it messes with my future goals of competition. I know that training requires fuel, rest, and most importantly good physical and mental health. Why I fall back into my disorder when I’m so set on what I want training wise? something I like to call a fear of success. I’m realizing I really do LOVE training and have a passion for competition and what I was doing, and that * it wasn’t disordered. Yes, I didn’t fuel myself properly nor did I rest enough but the desire to compete and be the best version of me that was possible was driven by Sarah not Ed. This is a pretty complex topic and I’m going to elaborate more in a future post.

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This shit’s my life.

My health. I’ve mentioned I have stomach problems, and gone into some detail but it’s time for me. Last week I had my second colonoscopy. During my first the doctor was unable to get through my colon so that is the reason for a second. It was normal. My colon is floppy/large for my body but that only means I will deal with symptoms relative to IBS. The biopsies taken were normal. No Crohn’s, Colitis, Celiac… this is all great, but at the same time not. With a father who suffers from Crohn’s disease I know how hard of an illness it is. It’s “not” because I have about 15+ unexplained symptoms, obviously I don’t want to have any of the previously mentioned, but honestly after having increased medical problems since age 6 – I’d like to know what’s up with my body.

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Colonoscopy prep fun…

My doctors know that something is wrong though and it honestly as this point feels like 1) a wild goose chase and 2) that for once in my life they believe all of my symptoms, because there are a lot. For a LONG time I felt like a major hypochondriac, things were always wrong, new symptoms, no answers. Until new labs were done showing abnormal blood work that begins to explain my “wide array of symptoms” and my primary doctor telling me “there is something wrong, you should not feel this way”. Sadly, that made my effin day. Today I had a liver biopsy done. Why the heck am I writing a post? because I’m not really aloud to do anything else, oooops. Lazy lazy day. Seeing it was today I obviously don’t have results yet but they are looking for autoimmune hepatitis because all of my lab markers are positive and the only way to confirm the diagnosis is through a biopsy.

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Post biopsy, lookin real fine.

At this point all I really know is if it comes back positive I have a liver problem, and if it comes back negative: were looking at rheumatology problems as my mother has rheumatoid arthritis. Nothing really makes much sense as my symptoms literally range from extreme headaches to digestive problems to nerve and joint problems to fatigue/weakness. Throw high antibody levels, high liver enzymes, high blood protein, and low white blood cell count, history of eating disorder, a plethora of sports injuries and symptoms that could be either Ed related or not in there and my current health status poses some big ass questions.

It’s literally been doctor, after doctor after oh guess what, doctor.

Gastroenterologist, primary, orthopedic (I have hip dysplasia and pre-osteoporosis), dermatologist (psoriasis), neurologist (multiple neuropathies), gyno (no period since June 2011 – yet I’m constantly asked if I’m pregnant… #teenage problems), and my beloved therapist who actually manages to keep me sane through all of this.

How’s that for a medical/health update? Winking smile I’ve found that I absolutely have to stay positive, keep up with my naturally occurring sarcasm, and try to make light of everything. It could be worse. Others are in worse conditions. I am thankful for the health I do have,  the support from my family, friends, you all, among many other things. At the same time though I want to know what I am dealing with so that I am able to pursue my dreams to my fullest ability without constantly thinking I’m doing more damage.

The main point I’m realizing: health means everything. The main points I’m coming to terms with: I’m in recovery, it is all going to be ok, and sometimes things aren’t perfect.

I’ve got to keep it simple, keep pushing, and keep a smile.

I don’t want “I’m sorry” or any of that. It is what it is. I deal, and I’ll continue to deal. I’ll continue to fight and keep my dreams/goals in sight. No matter what there is no giving up. At the end of the day, it’s my life and yeah I’ve got some problems, but no I’d never trade them. This is what makes me Sarah. This is what shapes my story.

It isn’t what cards I am dealt, but how I handle them.

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Happy Thursday, much love to y’all ♥