Catching up

Hey there! Clearly I fell off the blogging bandwagon, and fell off hard. It’s been about a month since I last posted and while I’ve been meaning to get back life just keeps on happening. As much as I’d love to post daily, or even bi-daily I just can’t make that commitment and also keep my sanity right now. Some people can and that’s great, if you’re one of those people major props to you. For right now I’m setting a goal of two posts a week, sometimes three. Hopefully three 🙂

What have I been up to as of late? Let’s see… crossfit, consuming absurd amounts of coffee (although I have cut it back a lot), working, yoga, catching up with friends over the aforementioned beverage of choice, and the full time job that is recovery.

Crossfit has been awesome. I never thought I would find myself really only doing crossfit as my workout regimen. As much as I love obstacle course racing, CF is doing it for me right now. Although I told my coach yesterday I do want to get back to competing in races once my body is physically ready for that training load. Speaking of races, I’ve been reminiscing back to the 2012 Death Race and all the training I put into that.


2012 DR “bib”. When racers were told to sew our race #’s onto our shirts. Duct tape and pink thread, how I do.

With crossfit my lifts have been increasing for the most part. Lots of bulgarian split squats, deadlifts, 1-arm rows, pull ups, squats. I’ve also been working on bench and farmers carries with my own gym time. While I’m still a ways from where I was and far from where I’d like to be that isn’t deterring me. I’m keeping focused and keeping both eyes on the ultimate goal.

Things have been much easier without school work to worry about for the summer. Classes start back up September 3rd and while I’m super excited to get back learning I’m also embracing having more free time to really focus on myself and what I want to be doing with my life. I mean sure education is important to me and I intend to go far with mine but I have other aspects to my life that have the same importance (if not more). It’s no secret my passion is fitness and competition. With being “off the playing field” for about a year now I am becoming more and more antsy to get back and kick some ass. Mainly just get back, ass kicking comes later.

The lack of school has also allowed for me to get in more friend time. Last weekend I met with a lovely lady for coffee, breakfast, and other shenanigans 🙂


Downtown. My liquids of choice: coffee and water. Water in my bottle from Taylor. Thanks girl.


Along with coffee I’ve been fueling with handfuls of this stuff. Tasty.

If you’ve never tried the Enjoy Life trail mix I highly suggest it. It’s fairly allergy friendly for those of us who need it but whether or no you have an allergy it’s good. Really good. I blame the fact it contains chocolate chips. Chocolate makes everything better. Everything.

Well, I think that is enough random mumbo jumble for today. I hope you’re all doing great and enjoying summer! 🙂

What have you been doing workout wise lately?

Ever tried the Seed & fruit trail mix? Or any Enjoy Life product?

Who else is on school break and embracing every.single.moment?


Birthday goodies, crossfit, and mojito’s

I completely forgot to mention in my last post that my birthday was on the 14th due to being way to exited about CrossFit. I’m 20 now. Yay. Mmmk onto my next topic.

Wait… hold that thought. Quick shout out.


Goodies from Zandra. HIIII, I love you. Those Justin’s pb cups holy crap, yum.

Ok now I’m really moving on. I’m becoming completely head over heels for Crossfit. The entire community is just so welcoming and helpful I really cannot even explain my appreciation towards them. The box I’m at has a good sized group of competitive athletes which I’m really excited about going forward. The coaches are amazing. Not to mention helpful with all my medical and injury jazz that needs accommodating for now.

Right now the programming includes a lot of strength work anyways so tweaking workouts has been pretty simple. What I trained this week-

Monday 6/17

  • Bulgarian split squat 4×6
  • RLD 4×6

Tuesday 6/18

  • Landmine press 5×6
  • 1 arm DB row 5×6

Thursday 6/20

  • Sumo deadlift 5×4
  • Pull ups (dead hang) 3×5
  • 30/20/10 of KB swings and air squats

Friday 6/21

  • Dead hang pull ups 5×2
  • Landmine press 4×6
  • Push ups (strict) 3×8


I’m feeling really strong on my split squats and deadlifts. My coach is using the split squats as a progression to get my body back to a place of back squatting properly and sumo deadlifts as a progression to traditional deadlifts. I absolutely hate landmine presses but the things we hate are the things that make us stronger, mentally and physically. Right now I’m just trying my best to keep my strength going up while also becoming more mobile. Let’s just say mobility WOD and my lacrosse ball are saving me.

You know what else is saving me? This stuff.


Kevita lime mint coconut mojita.

I’m all about probiotics, especially ones that taste like coconut lime. Mmm and now I want one. However a word of advice is to not drink this while practicing yoga. I tried it and it didn’t end well. The fizzy and the probiotics made my tummy all happy but not in down dog/other upside down poses (headstands…). Churning stomach + upside down = asking for vomit. No I didn’t actually puke. Yes I felt like I was about too. Yes I’m talking about puke on my blog. Got a problem? But really this stuff works wonders, unless it’s all in my head… which is entirely possible but doubtful. I drink either this or a kombucha on my rest days or just days where I feel my body needs a bit extra help and beneficial bacteria roaming around it 😉 Apparently I should be an ambassador for this company or something? I mean I’m sure everyone wants to drink it now that I said I almost threw up drinking it during yoga. That’s cute.

I’m off to meet a friend from the IOP program I was in for coffee and then work to make bank so I can afford my drinkable probiotics.


Do you like deadlifts?

Have you ever had a Justin’s pb cup? Heaven??

Have you tried any of the Kevita drinks?

I drank the CF kool aid

I finally succumbed to the pressure that is CrossFit. A while back I had joined for a short time and ended my membership due to school being my priority at the time. Also, this was while I was deep in my disorder. AKA double whammy negative sh*t storm.

I joined the same affiliate again for the second round and am loving it. I can officially say I drank the CrossFit kool aid. First off I’d like to comment on how ridiculous that phase sounds. Ridiculous but I kind of like it. You know what else I kind of like? The Harney & Sons Hot Cinnamon Spice tea that I’m currently drinking. Mmm. Anyways, did I say I have ADD? No seriously. Truth.


The main thing I’m loving about the gym I belong to is the programming. My coach and I discussed injuries (past/still lingering – more to come), medical, and goals. We decided that I will do the strength portion of each workout and then swap out conditioning for either an additional strength or mobility depending on how I’m feeling. For example yesterdays workout was…


  • Warm up/mobility
  • Bulgarian split squat: warm up sets and then 3×6 work sets
  • Nixed conditioning and instead did 3×6 romanian deadlifts
  • Ended the workout with 10 breaths in a deep squat and some foam rolling


All this strength stuff is my “specialty”. I’ve always found that I really enjoy lifting and would love to compete one day in powerlifting, note I say one day making sure not too soon into my recovery process. I realize that I can’t do much more than ponder the ideas of competition at this point with only being a few months into recovery and weight restoration. It’s a risky slope, and one I’m not willing to fall back down.

My relationship with exercise is one I struggle with because it is such a passion for me but also I can’t ignore the fact that I’ve also gone to the obsessive side of things. There has already been a lot of work done around this topic and I do hope to both share more on this blog and look into it more for my own knowledge. As I noted in my manifesto, which by the way has it’s own page now… I think it’s really important to keep evolving as a person, which is exactly what I intend to do.


Have you tried CrossFit?

Strength work or conditioning? Or, both?


Catch up and taking time to just be [mindful]

Hello buttercups!

In my last post I opened up about starting IOP and let in some light on what that’s all about. I’m going to quote myself for a minute here in order to catch up to the present day “I want my life back, and I’m fighting for my life back. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. I’m going to eat until I feel uncomfortable and keep going (because if I’m working out I really don’t have any other options). I’m focused, determined, and ready to kill it.” Note the bolded, working out. This is no longer, it’s temporarily no longer but for now I’m better without this piece of the puzzle.

And a puzzle is exactly what my disorder has been morphed into. Each piece of my life is another piece of the puzzle. But nothing totally fits together quite right, something is always out of balance or disproportionate to the other pieces.

Over the past week I’ve done some at home workouts (prior to putting on my big girl panties and making the increasingly hard decision to take time off). These workouts felt good but they left me feeling like utter crap. I remember this feeling all to well, insert pre Spartan Death Race.

post deathmill

I look exhausted up the exhausted. Smiles for the camera, but nothing else.

I want to smile for something other than a fuc*ing camera. That doesn’t define life, or happiness, or even bliss. I want to be present with myself and just smile with where I’m going in life.

I’m not going to lie I truly enjoy training, and competing. It is my biggest passion. It was my biggest passion years before my disorder so that is how I know it is true to me, and in my blood, not just a means of my disorder taking control of every aspect of my life [although it has done pretty much that]. When I sit back and really take in my life for what it is I don’t see myself living to reach my dreams. I’m not following my beliefs mercilessly. I’m following them, but in a sub-par way because the disorder is still present with me.

I’m taking some of my main life philosophies and putting them to work—

“To believe in something and not to live it, is dishonest.” – Gandhi

“You have exactly one life in which to do everything you’ll ever do, act accordingly.” – Colin Wright

“Don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to make it logical; don’t edit your soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.” – Frank Kafka

Or this…

crush it

Sorry I’m not sorry for the language.

For the next week I’m setting the goal for mindfulness and taking time to just be. Meditation has worked wonders before so it is time to give that a go again and I’m sure I’ll be coming across many “AHA” moments with doing so, and I’m so excited for that. Guess y’all know what I’m going to be doing directly after posting this write up.

As far as taking time off, I’m not sure how long. As short as a month, and long as four (or more)? I’m trying to not set a goal or a limit. I have planned races and events for the fall but ultimately I want my health back. Sure, competition is fun and exciting and gets me all stoked on life but come to think of it so does the idea of health. I have to say idea because I don’t remember a time that I’ve truly been healthy and present. Also, just a thought, if I’m healthy and being mindful wouldn’t my performance be that much better than it was… just a thought.


Free your mind from false ideals, from insecurities, from worrying, from negative thoughts and self doubt. Most importantly free your mind from old habits that no longer serve you, help you, or provide any sort of function in your life. Be true.